


A Series of Singles

by Battythebat



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cute, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Modern verse, Mutual Pining, Sarcasm, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-02 19:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11516289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Battythebat/pseuds/Battythebat
Summary: Snippets that fall in-between chapters, and even prior to the events leading toSingle Fereldan Man Seeks Female Companion.Will contain various relationships as the story progresses.





	1. How to (NOT) find the perfect lover

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place shortly after Kaeran's breakup and while living with her cousin, Rhona. They vent about relationships and how finding the right person is impossible. Inspired by this tumblr post.

* * *

 

Kaeran is three episodes deep in a true crime documentary, all the while furiously knitting when the front door opens and shuts. She glances at the wall on the clock and notes that her cousin is back early. A bit odd but maybe she had work in the morning and had to cut the date short.

Rhona walks in to the living room and drops into the adjacent armchair, exhausted.

“So…how did the date go?”

Rhona shrugs. “Meh.”

“That’s it? Just ‘meh’??”

“What? You expect every date to consist of swooning and being swept off my feet?”

“No,” she grumbled. Rhona leans down to undo her shoes, even rolls off the socks to let her feet breathe. She talks to her toes as she wiggles them.

“It was just ‘meh’, she seemed to have a good time but I don’t think that we could be anything serious.”

Kaeran shakes her head at that. “Right, and what you’re looking for is serious.”

“What are you on about?”

“Relationships, Rhona! A serious relationship? You?” Rhona didn’t do relationships. Not for a long time and probably never will again.

“Okay…more like serious but fun…hookups,” she mumbles.

“HA!” Kaeran nearly drops a stitch and grumbles as she tries to recover it. The last thing she needs is to undo an entire row to fix such a stupid mistake.

“Alright, you got me. Happy?” Rhona’s voice edges on annoyance and Kaeran gives her an apologetic look. She retrieves the dropped stitch and decides that she’s done enough knitting for the day, setting the project aside to give her cousin her undivided attention.

“No. What was wrong with this one?”

“Clingy. I don’t do clingy. It complicates things, makes hookups less fun. I don’t need that.”

Kaeran flexes her fingers, she’s been holding the knitting needles too tightly…or maybe knitting for too long: the perils of Netflix and knit.

“You know what I don’t get? How people get in relationships, like, how does that happen?”

Kaeran bites back a laugh. “You’re asking me? I just broke off a serious relationship. I don’t have the answer to that. Besides, I hardly consider myself an expert.”

“I bet you’d have to have a horseshoe up your ass in order to get the universe to align in your favour, or something,” Rhona muses.

Kaeran snorts, “Yeah, probably. Maybe blood magic?”

“Seems a bit drastic, no?”

“Truly desperate.”

“Or maybe, while we’re still discussing crazy schemes to summon the perfect lover—”

“Hypothetically,” Kaeran interjects.

“Yes, hypothetically. Why not grab five items you’d think makes the perfect lover slash partner, draw a pentagram and summon them.”

“I’m pretty sure then you’re asking for a demon lover.”

“Or…a demon that can point you in the direction of said perfect lover?”

Kaeran narrows her eyes at Rhona, unsure if her cousin is pulling her leg or trying to make an inventory of her own for what makes a perfect partner.

“What items would you pick to summon them? Like, would it be something to appease the demon or do you go with items that represent the ideal partner? Is there an item that’s specific for blonds?”

“We’re not—” Kaeran’s eyes are wide. This can’t be happening. Rhona can’t be seriously considering…

“I think I have a Ouija board somewhere…”

“Rhona, I’m not that desperate.”

“If you say so…let me know if you change your mind.”

“You’re drunk, go to bed,” she yells at her cousin who rises from the armchair and heads down the hallway. Presumably to her room, Kaeran hopes.

“Okay, let me just go check where I stashed that Ouija board…”

“Rhona!”

Her cackle bounces down the corridor, making the hairs on the back of Kaeran’s neck stand up. “Love you cuz!”

* * *

 


	2. Sneak Peek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking place in the early stages of Kaeran and Cullen's fake relationship. Kaeran gets an eyeful and stammers her way out of embarrassing herself...sort of. Inspired by the following prompt: “Hey, have you seen the..? Oh.”

* * *

 

One of the perks of the new apartment, of which there were many, was the backyard; it was a decent size for everyone in the building to use as they please. Cullen’s addition to the space was a target for knife throwing. Dorian told him he needed a hobby, one that didn’t scream homicidal maniac.

Cullen chuckled at the thought before focusing on the center of the target, arm bent at the elbow, blade held between thumb and finger and just past his ear. He hadn’t been out for long but could feel a bead of sweat run down the side of his face. He thought about going back inside for a glass of water.

After this throw, he told himself.  His body shifted forward, pitching the knife towards the target. The blade sunk to the left of the center and Cullen smirked, lifting the hem of his t-shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow. With his face obscured, the door from his apartment opened.

“Hey, have you seen the..?  _Oh_.”

Cullen immediately let go of the hem, hand flying instead to the back of his neck and lightly grimaced because wow, he was sweatier than he thought. He probably looked really gross right now and on top of that he accidentally flashed Kaeran, his cute roommate slash fake girlfriend. His eyes darted to the knife in the target, suddenly very interested in that particular space of the backyard.

Kaeran tries to hide her smirk but can’t muster the seriousness from the moment before. When Cullen glances back at her, he finds her still staring at his now covered chest.  

“Did you…need something?”

Oh, there was plenty that she needed, her mind supplied. It took her an extra second to will her eyes to look elsewhere.

“Hmm?”

“You came out asking if I’d seen something? I think?” Cullen was floundering a bit. He couldn’t quite leave since Kaeran was blocking his path to go back inside.

“Oh! Right. Um…yeah, did you see the…watering can?” Kaeran hoped that her voice didn’t noticeably crack.

Cullen raised his eyebrows then glanced at the watering can that was a foot away from where Kaeran stood. She flushed further, mumbling an apology before grabbing it by the handle and making a hasty retreat inside.

It was a total lie. Kaeran forgot what she wanted to ask Cullen and belatedly realized that they had no plants whatsoever.

* * *

 


	3. Teaser v Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for Sexlaughterhonesty 2016's "Let's Talk About Sex" day. In this case, I went with the discussion of boundaries. And you need to establish boundaries, even for fake/pretend relationships. Kaeran and Cullen are absolutely hopeless. SFW.

* * *

 Cullen’s life before Kaeran was relatively tame—not to say that she brought along chaos, but she did add a bit of a surprise element to his routine—and he had absolutely no idea that he had settled for a mundane existence. Once Kaeran came in to the picture and moved in with him, well, Cullen just knew that he couldn’t go back.

Their arrangement was simple: act as a professional couple in order to get the apartment that was too good to be true and deal with any possible awkwardness and hang ups afterwards.

They managed to fool their landlord (and landlady) and things seemed to move along swimmingly with Kaeran. Of course, there were awkward instances like sharing a bathroom and figuring out who had priority (usually Cullen) and the occasional forgetfulness of getting a new carton of milk (Kaeran). There was also the clash of taste in furniture and décor; Cullen being very Ferelden and lugging in bulky and robust furnishings while Kaeran brought everything and anything Dalish, save an actual aravel. Compromises were made and after a month of figuring out a harmony between both styles, things began to shape up quite nicely.

Of course, not everything was so simple after all. In order to pass off as a credible and loving couple, they had to get to know each other, including boundaries. Obviously Cullen picked the best moment to have such a discussion, except not really. Who has such a serious discussion about boundaries while washing pots and dishes? Kaeran was drying the washed items he placed on the dish rack.

“Well, we can’t kiss.”

“Why not? I mean, there has to be some kissing, otherwise it’s just weird.”

“I doubt they’d notice.”

“Cullen, the owners of this building are a couple, a very amorous one too. They’ll pick up on it, trust me.”

Cullen tried his best to not flush. She did make a valid point. Sensing his discomfort, Kaeran reached over to pat his arm.

“Hey, it doesn’t have to be on the lips. I wouldn’t want to steal your first kiss.”

Cullen scoffed at her.

“I’m touched, really, but I’ve had relationships before.”

“Oh?” she had the audacity to feign shock. He rolled his eyes.

“How far did you get?”

“I beg your–?!”

“Relax, Cullen. You don’t have to tell me. I sometimes take it too far, sorry.”

He glanced over and noted how she focused on the floor, fidgeting with the long strands of her hair. He nudged her gently to get her attention and when she refused to look up, Cullen leaned towards her and kissed the top of her head. She flinched as though she got a shock from the contact. He nearly dropped the soapy dish he was holding.

“I am…so, so sorry, I wasn’t—“ Oh Maker, he wanted to comfort her but if she reacted so strongly to a simple gesture like that, how was he to reassure her that she didn’t overstep without invading her space? He wasn’t one for being tactile, yet around Kaeran he reacted differently.

Rising onto the tips of her toes, Kaeran reached out for his face, eyes searching his. Cullen didn’t dare to breathe.

“Anyone ever tell you that you overthink sometimes? I’d appreciate it if you didn’t treat me like some delicate flower.” She wasn’t angry but Cullen didn’t doubt that if he kept walking on eggshells for her sake, she’d become very cross with him. And Kaeran had the potential to be wrathful; he’s seen it in her eyes.

“But…”

“It’s nothing, Cullen, you just startled me.”

“Oh…was it, er, was that an acceptable kiss?”

He could see the gears going as she mulled it over. Was she never kissed like that before? He wondered what other actions of affection Kaeran missed out on. It also felt awkward standing still, nearly leaning down to accommodate her short stature while she kept her hands on the sides of his face.

“Yes…I enjoyed it. I wouldn’t mind if you did that again. I mean, you know, for when…” She just realized that she was still holding on to Cullen’s face and let go, lowering herself down to rest on the heels of her feet. He didn’t know what to say, only nodded in understanding.

It felt strange having Kaeran in close proximity, but now that she was down to her normal height, he felt a chill creeping against his blazing neck. A part of him mourned the loss of how those fingers were gently anchored along his jaw. Maker preserve him, if he didn’t put a stop to this, the blushing would creep up to his hairline.

“What about hand holding?” He tried to not squeak the question. He managed to make it sound casual but he was sure that Kaeran’s keen ears still picked up the slight hesitation.

“What about it?” She totally picked up on it but spared him the embarrassment. What a saint.

“Couples hold hands.” Maker, that sounded so stupid.

“So do friends.” To reinforce her point, her hand trailed down his wrist, plied the sponge from his hand and placed her hand there instead.

His eyes zeroed on their joined hands, not sure if he should stroke his thumb against her hand or just give a friendly squeeze.

“Breathe, Cullen, it’s just us holding each other’s hand, not heart surgery.”

He snorted, then with his other soaked hand flicked soapy water in her direction. She laughed and tore her hand away from his (what a loss) only to scoop up water and splash it in his face. He stood there startled and completely soaked from face down to the collar of his shirt. In a few spots he had bits of suds cling to him.

“You think you won this round, haven’t you?” He arched an eyebrow at her.

Her laughter resulted in a terrible fit of hiccups and even though her hand was placed against her mouth, Cullen saw how her wide grin couldn’t be contained. Kaeran’s body shook and she let out a giggle, clearly still amused with her work.

“Be careful, my darling, I have just as much bite as you do.” He warned.

“Is that a challenge?” She took a step closer to him, her head angled back with a grin set to tease. The effect would normally have Cullen backpedalling, but when he was being goaded, he refused to back down. It was also incredibly endearing to see Kaeran trying to be seductive in the middle of a hiccupping fit.

Cullen leaned closer, their noses nearly bumping into each other. His eyes roamed over her neck and ears, as though he was assessing each part with utmost seriousness before staring into her eyes. When he had her utmost attention, he purred the words over her lips.

“No, sweet Kaeran, it’s a promise.”

* * *

 


	4. "I've seen the way you look at me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaeran goes out for a few drinks and to vent about her ex. Her return home causes some awkwardness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place after Cullen and Kaeran move in and shortly after the housewarming party.

* * *

 

The last few encounters between them had been weird. Since the housewarming party and the uninvited guest’s appearance, their interactions were strained. Cullen was trying to figure out how best to address the problem (there was always a series of what ifs and half formed accusations against himself) when Kaeran popped her head into his room.

“Hey,” she announced herself shyly.

“Hey,” he replied, putting his book down to give her his full attention.

“Oh, no it’s okay. Sorry for bothering you, I won’t take long. Just wanted to let you know that I’m going out for drinks with my cousin.”

“Oh, that sounds fun. Everything alright?” he winced at the lack of subtlety. Nice.

Kaeran crossed her arms, fidgeting from foot to foot, eyes downcast. When she looks back at him there’s a timid smile etched on her lips.

“Nah, it’s fine. I mean, Rhona seems to think I need to drink myself into a stupor. Part of the breakup process: you bitch, take a shot or two of something that resembles rubbing alcohol, shed a few tears after you realize how it was all a waste, repeat.”

Kaeran’s shyness is overridden with mortification. Creators, why did she overshare when she was nervous? And it was always around him. Cullen doesn’t seem to think that she’s pathetic (or maybe he secretly thinks so and is being polite about it).

Sensing her discomfort, Cullen hums in agreement. Seems like he relates to the plight, or perhaps understands it at least. She imagines Cullen sitting at a bar with a heartbroken friend, commiserating and being a good friend by picking up the tab and making sure they get home alright.

“I think it’s good of your cousin to take you out…even if it’s so that you wind up drunk.”

Kaeran snorts at that and Cullen silently cheers at the fact that he did that.

“Right, well, that’s not going to happen. Just a few drinks and then I’ll be back home.” She turns to walk away, heading for the entranceway.

“Try and not miss me too much, dear.” She calls as she makes her exit.

He chuckles at that. “Have a good time, darling.”

The front door shuts soon after and Cullen doesn’t know if she heard him or not. He resumes his book, trying to not overthink their brief conversation.

–//–

He hears someone fumble with keys, cursing and groaning. The floorboards creak as whoever is walking in is making a terrible effort in trying to stay quiet. Cullen stirs, eyes still closed while he stretches his whole body before rolling out of bed. What time was it?

He cracks one eye open and instantly regrets it. It’s dark but the red digits that dance from his nightstand are a glaring contrast to the rest of the room (and behind his eyelids). He hears more cursing and though Cullen has a good suspicion of who it might be he lets out a short huff before making his way to the source of disturbance.

Taking a tentative step in the hallway, he discovers not one but two shadows; their silhouettes sharpened by the light outside the quiet neighborhood and filtering in through the thin curtain. Cullen blinks a few times before rubbing one eye with the palm of his enormous hand.

“Hey, hey Cullen!” Rhona whispers excitedly. “Did we wake you? You’re going to have to forgive my cuz here, she thought she could open the door herself.”

She’s clearly intoxicated but has a better handle of liquor than poor Kaeran who is on the verge of slipping from her cousin’s hold and ready to sleep on the floor. Seeing Kaeran’s poor state sparks a few uneasy feelings. She had told him that she wouldn’t be back late and yet here they are, nearly 4am and Cullen isn’t sure what kind of drunk Kaeran might be. So far it seemed like she was the sleepy kind.

“Was she…?”

Rhona gingerly transfers her cousin into his sleepy yet capable hands.

“Not going to lie, it was a mess.”

Cullen’s eyes widen.

“Oh, well,” Rhona clears her throat, trying to organize her thoughts. “I meant the whole breakup and her shitty ex but yeah, there was a bit of throwing up too. She’s a trooper though and I think you’re in the clear.”

Sensing his growing discomfort, she lightly punches him in the arm.

“She even talked about you for a bit,” she admits.

“She did?” did his voice sound hopeful? He really hoped it didn’t come across as desperate. He was still shaking off the fatigue.

“Yeah, it was adorable. A bit sickening how she went doe-eyed just talking about how nice you are, with your perfect hair and manly smell…”

He narrowed his eyes at her; she was clearly pulling his leg.

“I uh, I’ve got to go. Got a cab waiting outside. But I thought you should know, she thinks the world of you and I can see why.”

He clears his throat, trying to dislodge how tight it suddenly felt. Kaeran not only talked about him but she also thought highly of him. Just then, Kaeran groaned and lazily cuddled against his chest. The sight made Rhona laugh lowly.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it. Hate to dash but I’ll check in in the PM. Sweet dreams you two.” She gently kissed the top of Kaeran’s head and gave a prompt thumbs up at Cullen before heading out.

He’s left standing in the hallway with a drunken elf half leaning against his chest and half sinking to the floor. Cullen sighs, running a hand through his hair before gently lifting her into his arms, trying his best not to jostle her. He walks back to his room, deciding that his roommate would be better sleeping it off on an actual bed.

The conundrum of whether to help her out of her clothes or not is resolved when he feels her arms tighten across his shoulders.

“Cul-len?” the name comes out sluggish and he hides his smirk before hushing her.

“Rhona dropped you off, you’re home now.” Her whole body tensed before going lax again. Carefully, he placed her on his bed and she reluctantly let go of him, a playful pout sent his way.

“This isn’t my bed.”

“Yes, I know but I want you to sleep here just for tonight. You’ll be more comfortable.”

He’s unsure of how Kaeran usually sleeps, so he pulls the blanket up to her chin, tucking her in. He’s about to leave the room but she sleepily groans, begging him to stay.

“I’ll be back, just going to get you a glass of water.”

He tries not to make a speedy retreat.

Once in the kitchen, Cullen takes a moment to steady his heartbeat, deep inhales and extra long exhales. He hadn’t thought about his own sleeping arrangement, he could always sleep in his chair if Kaeran insisted that he stay while she slept it off. She did say that she wouldn’t be back so late but Cullen can’t help but worry that perhaps she wasn’t as alright as she claimed to be. He knows a bit about her but not enough to prod her for more or long enough for her to completely trust him. He knows that she trusts him to some extent otherwise this arrangement of theirs wouldn’t have happened.

He’s taking too long and fearing that Kaeran already passed out, he hurries back to his room with two glasses of water.

Cullen nearly drops both glasses when he spots her jeans abandoned on the floor. His floor. Raising his head, the sight he beholds makes his heart plummet to his feet, ready to join Kaeran’s crumpled jeans on the floor. He decides the best solution is to look away until she’s settled under the covers.

Unfortunately for him, the elf struggles with removing her shirt, both arms are still in the sleeves but the shirt as well as the camisole underneath is rucked up to her head, effectively trapping her arms to the side of her face. The whole scene is embarrassing and a bit endearing since Kaeran has absolutely no clue on how to get out of her predicament.  

“Cullen?” her muffled voice calls out.

He realizes that though she may be drunk, she still has a keen sense of hearing.

He walks to the side of the bed, placing the glasses on the nightstand before helping his drunken roommate. He pries the shirt with one hand, effectively freeing her face and arms from the confines of the shirt while adjusting the camisole to give her some modesty.

Hair askew from the effort, she huffs at the strands that obscure her view and slicks it back with some success. Kaeran’s hair is more wavy than straight so there’s a bit of resistance in trying to tame her hair and make it cooperate. She has no idea how she has it infinitely better than Cullen when it comes to controlling one’s hair.

“Here, have a drink.”

Kaeran buries her face in his pillow, huffing a stubborn ‘no’.

“It’s water, it’s good for you.”

She cracks an eye open, face still embedded in the ergonomic pillow.

“That’s all I’ve been doing is drink!” she bemoans.

Cullen can’t help but chuckle at that.

“I know, you drank a lot. But this will make you feel better. Promise.”

She rises grouchily, still skeptical about the glass.

“OK. And then I can sleep?”

“Yes.”

She takes the glass, careful not to let it slip between her fingers and proceeds to down it as though it was a pint of beer. Cullen can’t help but watch the way she greedily drinks from the glass, chugging the water and letting out a satisfying sigh as though it hit the spot.

It clearly hasn’t, judging by the way she’s eyeing the second glass. He sarcastically rolls his eyes, taking the empty glass out of her hand and giving her the second glass. Cullen didn’t know how she would feel in the morning but if the second glass could be of any help, he wasn’t going to deny her.

Finally sated, Kaeran resettles herself in Cullen’s bed while he tucks her in again once more. She nuzzles into his pillow while Cullen situates himself in his chair with a blanket of his own and it seems that Kaeran has already fallen victim to the Sandman when

“I’ve seen the way you look at me.”

Cullen nearly jumps out of his seat, startled by the sudden declaration. And he’s definitely not imagining Kaeran talking to him. She hasn’t moved from her position but her eyes are open and there’s a sober look about them.

“I-I’m sorry, what?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me,” she repeats.

“How do I look at you?”

Her eyes appear lost for a moment, in her state it’s hard to pick out the right words. Cullen just hopes that she passes out soon.

“Like…someone who really cares, like more than a friend.” she finally says.

“Ah,” he wonders how much she actually knows compared to what she’s seen. Has he been that obvious? Cullen keeps his face blank, careful not to give more away.

“I do care about you. We might not be best friends because we don’t know each other for long, but I like to think that we can be that.”

“Best friends?”

“Yeah.”

“But what about…those other times?”

Oh Maker. He is the absolute worst when it comes to subtlety. Worse than a druffalo in an Orlesian shop.

“Well, we’re in this together, right? Got to keep up appearances and shower my pretend girlfriend with affection, otherwise Josie and Thom may start to suspect.”

The statement hangs heavy between them. 

Kaeran nibbles at her bottom lip, trying to decipher his words; there’s something about them that rings false but she’s too far gone to figure out what. She hopes that she can remember this conversation in the morning when she’s sober and capable of analyzing what just transpired.

Upon seeing how withdrawn she is, Cullen instantly regrets his words. They didn’t come out right and she probably hates him right now, thinking that he’s no better than her ex. He hopes that in the morning she barely remembers any of this and that they can move forward with a blank slate. As close to one, anyway.

He takes a deep breath, praying that the next words that come out of his mouth sound right.

“You know, as odd as this arrangement of ours is, I’m glad to have met you.”

Her ears perk up at the sincerity in his voice.

“So…friends?” her face feels very warm but she’s also tempted to hide under his duvet because what if he doesn’t see her the same way?

“Kaeran, considering how we’ve only met a few weeks ago, somehow get along really well and haven’t gotten on each other’s nerves yet like real couples who move in together do…I think we’re quite close and…” Oh Andraste guide him, he might actually say something foolish again.

“Yes, Cullen dear?” the teasing endearment has him tickled pink.

“Yes, Kaeran darling?” Maker, she knew how to save him from himself. How does he always manage to trip up around her?

“You’re my favourite person. Just don’t tell Rhona, she might hit me.”

Cullen chuckles at that.

“Your secret is safe with me.”

She resettles herself under the covers, eyes slipping shut, finally weary. Cullen is less fortunate in catching some sleep, his mind far too preoccupied, exalting the fact that Kaeran considers him a close friend. A moment or two later, he feels the pull of slumber and it’s the realization of Kaeran also being his favourite person (and for some time now) that has him nodding off with a small smile.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧


End file.
